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Our song

I remember it… do you? Now it’s just me and I need you now.

I have so much I want to tell you, and nowhere to begin. – J.D. Salinger, Seymour - An Introduction (via psych-facts)

Literally nowhere because I can’t even tell you.

I like beginnings because they’re so full of promise. The first page of a book, the first day of a job, the first time you buy yourself flowers, the first date with a new man, the first touch, the first kiss, the first kick of a good liquor, the first moment you hold your own baby. I like beginnings because I know there’s always more to come. – Shyma Perera, Bitter Sweet Symphony (via psych-facts)
Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation.
Depression is humiliating.
If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.
It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too.
Depression is humiliating.
No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.
– Pearl (via psych-facts)
To be strong is to understand weakness. To be weak is to have fears. To have fears is to have something precious to you. To have something precious to you is to be strong. – Tablo (via psych-facts)
I wonder a lot of things Darling it’s like it never ends…

I know more than you think, however please don’t let this deter you from the path you walk. Because I know it won’t. It never has. And there’s nothing I can do to change that. Every choice ive ever wanted you to make each chance I needed you to take… you’d step aside, turn around and make haste. With me on the ground constantly writhing in pain. I swear im simple but no one seems to see that all I ever wanted was someone to be there for me, a friend indeed is all I need. But don’t worry dear you said you tried your best… did what you could. That’s all that matters right? I wish it could. I often seem to think of you and me but not for long for you see I dont even know if you do this of me. Do you even miss me? For if one was a true friend one would make a effort or has the world turned around into something I dont remember. Because if so please tell me I’d love to hear your voice. But none of this will happen much less anything more. So im just left here to ponder not anything more.

What happens when….

You can’t turn to the person that you would always turn to?

Like where did they go?

Well honey I don’t know

You see they watch you wither

while they just sit there and slither

because darling is there really anywhere that you can go?

You’re stuck in your ways

watching the curse wash you away

just look at all this decay

I can sum up most of my encounters with people in three words of sorts

I miss you 

I love you

life goes on

I hate you

you left me

I needed you

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