Literally nowhere because I can’t even tell you.
Depression is humiliating.
If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.
It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too.
Depression is humiliating.
No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.” – Pearl (via psych-facts)
I know more than you think, however please don’t let this deter you from the path you walk. Because I know it won’t. It never has. And there’s nothing I can do to change that. Every choice ive ever wanted you to make each chance I needed you to take… you’d step aside, turn around and make haste. With me on the ground constantly writhing in pain. I swear im simple but no one seems to see that all I ever wanted was someone to be there for me, a friend indeed is all I need. But don’t worry dear you said you tried your best… did what you could. That’s all that matters right? I wish it could. I often seem to think of you and me but not for long for you see I dont even know if you do this of me. Do you even miss me? For if one was a true friend one would make a effort or has the world turned around into something I dont remember. Because if so please tell me I’d love to hear your voice. But none of this will happen much less anything more. So im just left here to ponder not anything more.
You can’t turn to the person that you would always turn to?
Like where did they go?
Well honey I don’t know
You see they watch you wither
while they just sit there and slither
because darling is there really anywhere that you can go?
You’re stuck in your ways
watching the curse wash you away
just look at all this decay
I miss you
I love you
life goes on
I hate you
you left me
I needed you